Some weeks later, I kept having a look to the new offers and getting some points in the page (I still do not know what you can use them for, just to get spam at your e-mail, I guess) and I saw by chance a job which seemed custom-made for me: it was writing in Spanish some chapters of a dissertation about a really specific topic about phonetics in Spanish and Portuguese. I bid. After some days there were a fistful of people biding and most of them had no idea about the topic and/or were simple translators who had not even read the short advertisement.
Hi,
I need a writer to write a linguistics dissertation in SPANISH. If you can do it, please bid. Then we can discuss the details in PM.
Regards,
James
I was given the job, even with no experience in the webpage. It seemed that it worked and I had done it quite well. However, my first mistake was thinking that people would be fair. And then I just made more and more. When I read a dissertation, I thought it would be an essay or so. And when I read "to write" was that I would be given some information about what I should write. Then, I was given the details in PM:
The dissertation should have 400-500 pages, double spaced. We will be writing it chapter-by-chapter. The pay is $5 per page (that’s $2500 for 500 pages).
The dissertation should be in Spanish, of course.
The details are here:
http://www.2shared.com/file/gJKfTdY6/Spanish.html
To begine with we need to write a 25 page chapter on this research investigation/investigation plan ($125).
Can you do it?
I had no idea what I had to do and, moreover, when I open the file, it was completely a mess. I did not understand anything and I have to read all the files twice or three times in 2 different days in order to understand the job. Of course I accepted the job "Yes, sure, I can do it. So, let's start with writing of the 25 page chapter on the research investigation on the perception of nasal vowels by Spanish Speakers. When do you need it? If there is any further comment you want me to know, feel free to tell me anytime in order to take it into account." My company has just started and I needed projects and money. "How much time would you need to write it? I mean the 25 pages?", "I can finish it this weekend. So, Saturday or Sunday. Is that all right?" I really wanted to do it fast, precise and good-quality. I just wanted a good review in the webpage and satisfy my clients. "Yes, that's absolutely fine. I am selecting your bid and will fund the $125 milestone. Please accept the terms and start working on it. If any questions - just let me know."I had no idea what I had to do but I would figure it out and I would do it perfectly. So I started to ask for information.
I did not want to ask many things and seem stupid, but I saw that there was not information to write about, just simple and silly notes and 4 stupid pages about anything interesting. There was a folder full of books in English, Portuguese and Spanish with 100 pages, which I was of course not going to read for that funny price. But I tried to do my best and proof-read what I had, correct everything and add technical words and definitions. It was supossed to be an introduction, so I suposed it would not be a bad idea not to write in deep about the topic and - if I was paid - maybe read that stupid stuff afterwards.
Perfect, I am working on it. I have already read carefully all the information you sent me and I am starting with the writing. I just have some questions in order to make sure that I write everything in the way you want.
The PLAN DE INVESTIGACIÓN is what I have to follow in order to write the 25 page chapter. Must I focus on what it is written on the document or shall I add more information from the BIBLIOGRAFÍA and FILES?
I see I must add the comments made regarding the research investigation on the perception of nasal vowels by Spanish Speakers, but the contents of the 12 FILES will be too much for an starting chapter, right?
Thank you very much.
This was the stupid answer to all my questions:
Yes.
In general. Why should the guy spend more that 4 seconds to think and write an answer to all my questions. I was the stupid one to ask obvious things, right? That was all the information I got when I asked. WTF. But I asked again, he maybe thought that I was jusy playing with him.
I have already written 14 pages, but I have just some questions:
- are we going to consider de brasilian portuguese as I can see in the notes?- may I add technical vocabulary from phonetics and phonology when necessary?- what it is said in the notes that is not written in the bibliography at the end, must I look for it and add it? if so, it is in the FILES?
- are we going to consider de brasilian portuguese as I can see in the notes?I am not sure about it. I can ask the client if you really need this info.
- may I add technical vocabulary from phonetics and phonology when necessary?Yes, sure, but please define any terms that are not commonly known about linguists.
- what it is said in the notes that is not written in the bibliography at the end, must I look for it and add it? if so, it is in the FILES?I am not sure. Should I ask the client about it?
He was not the client? Fantastic, I do not why I did not think of that before. Then I understood why there was a girl´s name in some papers. But it was better that he had no fucking idea about what we were doing and he had to ask the stupid girl. At least, I knew I could add technical words and define them. OK. It seems that a PH.D in phonetics did not know what a "minimal pair" was, it could be a lapsus.
I finished even after the deadline and getting the answers. I wrote again:
Yes please, you can ask the client in order to be more accurate.Anyway, except for those questions I have already finished it. I have written some comments in the document so that the client can read them there and answer and I can check it again. Maybe it is easier and faster, so I will upload it now.
They never answered. I was working so fast and it seemed that they were having fun, or on drugs, I do not know and I do not care. And the job was sent to the idiot client: "Sorry, the client still hasn't replied to those questions. I am forwarding your work to the client for review, thank you." and I was so kind to say "OK. No problem. If there is anything that must be changed, I can just do it. Tell me when we can continue with the other chapters." And I was harassed "Please hold on for now - I want to give the client some time to review it." About 3 weeks to read what I had written in 2 days, come on. I did not know that people from Texas needed to come back to primary school to read a simple 25-pages document. I even defined all the terms that I wrote, come on.
It was a scam, that is what I thought, and that is what I think. I contacted the webmasters and annoyed many people about all of this, someone got in contact with him and he, in 5 minutes, finally wrote me back "I am releasing the milestone, thank you." What a badass, motherfucker bastard, I had work not only for free, but the webpage, once he realeased the milestone charged me 150$ (10% of the full agreement) just in case there was not more money from us. I wrote again to the webmasters (they are the clevest in this issue) and he, after one week or so replied again "I will let you know once we can proceed to the next chapter." I was not laughing at that point, actually, and I was going to disturb to all of them - politely, of course - "ok. Let me know when we can continue with the next chapter. I have one question now that the milestone has been released. I have written the first chapter, but it was not supposed that I would receive the $125 after this chapter? Or when will I? Thank you for the information."
And, again, after I do not know how many days, I got a promise for a future answer: "Actually, I have just received the feedback from the client. I will post it here later today." So kind of him telling me that in advance, so I did know that he had not dissapear. I would lick his everything if I knew where he lives. Ha. And he explained everything the following day or so, of course "I am attaching the client's feedback. Please review it. I will also ask him should we proceed to the next chapter or not." He sent me the same ridiculous files!!! With the review of the client, that was the same that I knew before. Explaining herself was not her strange, I would really like to go to her public defense of the thesis to see what she does.
- eseblis
OK. Perfect. I will review it and I will make changes if necessary.
- worldcitizen324
Thank you.
- eseblis
By the way, when will we know about the 2nd chapter?
- worldcitizen324
He said he wants to receive the revised version of this chapter first.
I have revised all his comments and corrected them. I have also added the bibliography and index (but this is out of the 25 pages). Hope to hear from the second chapter soon in order to start working again.I run out of patient, I must recognize. I was not going to be as shy as I had been and starting to say what I thought, or I could have exploted, but I did not feel like it. It was so absurd to work twice, and so boring, because I must recognize that writing essays which are not mine is not my passion, and I consider that is kind of cheating. I was supossed to be writing one text, not researching, reading bibliography and doing the whole ph.d thesis!!! What was the sassy girl doing?? Fucking with a monkey?
I would just like to say that I do not mind to revise the document, but I would prefer (and I think it is the best for everyone) if I receive all the information about chapters at the same time instead of revising them later in order to attach extra information .In this way, I do not have to work twice and nobody waits a long time until chapters are completely finished.
Yours faithfully, Esther
And finally, after the revision, not before of course, they wanted me to finish and then, they would disappear. It was - I must confess - really kind of them to write a good-bye letter:
Ah! I cannot forget: in one of the documents, she was explaining James that her father got DENGUE!! Wow, in Texas? I thought it was an illness in Africa. But who knows, maybe his father was a biologist... as stupid as her to be infected by one with Dengue. The alibi was really elaborated, she even added that she did not want to do a fuss of it, hahaha. Pathetic. Simple.
I am sorry to say that the client didn't like your job, so we'll cancel this job. Here are his comments:We must appreciate the capital letters in order to catch the meaning of the message, eh? It is also really interesting to see that, although it was a girl who was supossed to write the thesis, this guy calls her always "he, his, etc." But she knows that I am a woman, so that makes me think that she is more considered that her pimp to know my genre. Nice way of calling me stupid, too "in the past, the writer was always smart". Clever that I expected from her. But then she screwed it up and she wrote "waist my money". I can blame her, I suppose she was just so concerned about her weight that maybe her waist was 1/2 cm larger and got depress. That must be the reason that she needed help to do HER job. She should have attached the letter from her psiquiatrist and I would have been more considered. I love the part which says that I never read the bibliography, because I am sure that she did not do it either, when the thesis was supossed to be hers... and that I did not do the index and the citations... could she have got a different document? I guess she was just so stupid that she did not see the file in her computer. The ending, it almost made me cry... I could not stop laughing... she must be crying because she was so dumb that she was not able to write her own thesis and not only that but also she was so dumb that she could not find anyone to do it. I fear that there are not people so mentally handicapped to do what she wanted in HER level. But, come on, I could not feel guilty. I had done everything in two days and it took more that one month for them to revise it. Come on, they can give me a cupon for free oral sex to fill all my life and my daughters and grandaughters. And yes, if you wanted to start from zero, you could have done it before and not "waist" my time with stupid revisions.
I HAVE DONE WORK WITH YOU IN THE PAST AND THE WRITER WAS ALWAYS SMART AND WROTE SIGNIFICANT ESSAYS, BUT AT THIS TIME I WAIST MY MONEY, THIS WRITER NEVER READ THE BIBLIOGRAPHY, NEVER ADDED ANYTHING TO MY TEXT THAT WOULD MAKE A DIFFERENCE, THERE IS NO CITATION OF THE THE SEVERAL ARTICLES I HAVE SENT SINCE THE FIRST TIME I REQUESTED THIS JOB. I THINK THIS WOMAN IS NOT A PROFESSIONAL OF THE LINGUISTIC AND PHONOLOGY AREA, JUST ADDED FEW INFORMATION IN TERMS OF WHY IS IMPORTANT TO LEARN PORTUGUESE, AND IT IS NOT THE POINT OF THIS ENTIRE PROJECT. THE INDEX OF THE DOCUMENT WAS NEVER MADE, ( I HAVE SEND A SKETCH OF WHAT EACH ITEM SHOULD BE).... WHERE IS IT??? THE IMPORTANT CITATIONS FROM LINGUISTS TO SUPPORT THE ABSTRACT WAS NEVER INSERTED, I DO NOT KNOW WHAT TO DO BECAUSE MY TIME TO PRESENT IT DUE WITHIN ONE WEEK AND I WILL NEED TO START FROM ZERO. I AM EXTREMELY DISAPPOINTED!!
Ah! I cannot forget: in one of the documents, she was explaining James that her father got DENGUE!! Wow, in Texas? I thought it was an illness in Africa. But who knows, maybe his father was a biologist... as stupid as her to be infected by one with Dengue. The alibi was really elaborated, she even added that she did not want to do a fuss of it, hahaha. Pathetic. Simple.
In the end, if there is anyone reading, I just want to add what I replied, maybe they did not read it, or they did not care about it. But I needed it and I want to make it public, since I am doing it with the guy's comments:
Thank you for the feedback and your help, James. Actually, I did not like this way of working where the information was not clear and always late. If s/he wants such a quality work, s/he should pay it. One thing is writing a dissertation about one topic, and another -and ILLEGAL- is that I do all the research and read 100 articles s/he should have read. I am not a PH.D, but if I wanted, I would think through my own mental capacity and not only the money that I have. If s/he thinks that I am not a professional of the linguistic and phonology area, s/he should think twice what s/he is doing, because s/he is not going to be able to make this essay without another person that knows more than her/his. And, by the way, s/he should learn to write in her/his own language, too.I know that you do not deserve these words and I see that you have worked with her/him before and I hope it was a good experience and everyone was happy, but I am really disgusted about it.
I cannot stand the idea that that girl might become a doctor in phonetics one day...
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